Once you learn to believe in yourself others will believe in you. If you live a life in this place of struggle and you are willing to destroy the disbelief of yourself then this is a good read.
For a very long time I lived in that dark place. Not really believing in myself. It was not until I had a true encounter with my creator that I could come to really know the truth about why I was in the place I was in. It was not until I could ask Him to reexamine me. It was a process… I would say not an easy one at all.
Psalm 26:2 Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;
It was then that I had to go down that road… Who am I. He knew my name that was one thing for sure. The question was did I know who I was? Did I even know my name? Did I even know my purpose? Did I know my potential? Did I know my worth?
Not until in His presence was I going to be made new.
I grew up in a military home, to be exact my father was a marine. He was a man of honor who fought for our country in Vietnam. He was only seventeen when he enlisted and was sent off to war. When he came back he was awarded a purple heart. Dad was never to be the same again. His mindset was Drill Sergeant all day. He married my mother and a year later I was born…… I was not suppose to be here.
Here’s my story my mother in an argument with my father had fallen down a flight of stairs. She was rushed to the hospital, she did not know she was expecting. They immediately took mom to have a heavy set of X-rays. After mom had X-rays and blood work the doctors came back and said well nothing is broken however, you are pregnant! The look on the doctors face when giving my parents the news was not a good one. My parents immediately where startled. What’s wrong doc? The level of X-rays done cause a high rate that your child may not make it and you may even possibly birth a stillborn. My parents did not know how to accept this news.
After a day or two my mother was led to have another doctors opinion. She went to Beth Israel Hospital in Manhattan, New York. She shared with the doctor what had happened, he could sense her concern. He grabbed ahold of her hand and he said “Do you believe in God” her reply was YES! He looked her in the eyes and said your child will be fine.
Here I am today! Won’t God do it!
Back to Dad….. being born into this drill sergeant environment was not easy at all. My father did not know how to talk to a lady. He was so harsh and cruel. I recall him saying to me from very little “Dirt Bag” and so much…. what in the world! Why? This is how he was built. Brainwashed better said. That was not easy to hear over and over again.
I grew up with this deep in my heart. I share this because its not by might, nor by power, its is by the spirit of our living God within us that allows us to determine if we will remain with that embedded in our heart “Dirt Bag, Douchebag, Scum bucket”
No I will not I chose to BELIEVE IN MYSELF! I am a woman of God, I am the CEO of my Life, A Boss lady! Yes I am!